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Family Produce Review & Award Center www.familyreview.org/ |
I am very impressed with this outstanding
book! Ms. Buck writes with both her heart and her head, and these combine
to produce a richly informative guide to hospitalization. I highly
recommend Hospital Stay Handbook to all readers, particularly those who
have chronic medical problems in the family or anticipate hospitalization
at a future time. When my mom became seriously ill and was hospitalized, being made her power of attorney scared me. I was not prepared for what lied ahead and had no clue what it would entail. I wanted to be her best advocate, her guardian, and the one who would be able to make everything as easy on her and the rest of our family as possible. Multiple times we had questions regarding her care, medicines, and other decisions of the medical staff. How I wish I would have had this book available when we experienced this hard time in our life. The author of this book has been down the road we all must travel at some point, on behalf of someone we love. Because of her experience and her attention to detail and her uncanny way of searching for answers in a methodical manner, she has brought us this book that will be a lifesaver when you need the help it offers. Let's face it. When we are going through it, it is hard to focus and find the answers we are seeking, because we feel desperate and sometimes alone. We need the help to be easy to manage and ingest, so we are able to draw from the resources available and make the best of a bad situation. This book outlines everything you can think of and then some. She covers everything from meds to choosing the best hospital. She also covers burnout of caregivers, being a patient advocate, executing power of attorney and how to partner with the caregivers of your loved one. I encourage you to get this book prior to needing it. When the time comes you will want to know this book is there for you, so you can limit the exhaustion of chasing the answers that are carefully outlined within this book. Easy to read, and easy to follow. You will find the author has great insight, experience, and knowledge in this area and you will find the help offered to be unbeatable. Take it from me, a person who has been there done that - this book would be a GODSEND when you are facing the illness of someone you love dearly. |
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Andrew Toplarski Former Director of INATS Senior Buyer Transwestern |
"Hospital Stay Handbook
is extremely important and it contains dozens of useful resources...
Jari's insight will help others in a similar situation to cope with the
challenges they face...Recommendations 1, 5, 6, 7, and 8, are GOLDEN! I found the more I educated myself, the less foreign the equipment and terminology became, and the better the medical staff would communicate with me..My personal piece of advice is to make every attempt to stay in the moment. This practice takes practice! I've learned that by giving myself fully to the experience at hand, and knowing that that experience will pass, has allowed me to work through a number of shocking, sad, and emotionally devastating moments." |
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Anita Grace Simpson BellaOnline's Public Health Editor click here for the full review |
I am very impressed with this outstanding
book! Ms. Buck writes with both her heart and her head, and these combine
to produce a richly informative guide to hospitalization. I highly
recommend Hospital Stay Handbook to all readers, particularly those who
have chronic medical problems in the family or anticipate hospitalization
at a future time. |
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Ilene Dillon, MSW Host of Full Power Living www.emotionalpro.com |
It's difficult enough to go through a
protracted hospitalization and several near-death experiences with someone
you love. Then you have to learn to navigate the hospital and
health-delivery systems. But then to sit down and write out all that you
have learned for other people to have as a guidebook to use when their
loved ones are hospitalized, you demonstrate the depth of your love and
caring for your fellow human beings. That warmth, caring, dedication and
basic, common-sense information were so evident in your appearance on Full
Power Living, Jari, as well as in The Hospital Stay Handbook. Thank you for allowing us to assist in your quest to help as many people as possible. You are a wealth of information, as well as a delight! |
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Joseph Raccuia, M.D. Chief of Hepatobiliary Surgery St. Vincent’s Hospital New York, NY |
The book is great
and I've already recommended it to my patients. It is excellent and ‘on
the mark.’ Congratulations on a beautiful book. |
Rebecca Raszewski |
Having a loved one in a hospital can be an overwhelming and draining experience. Buck, an organizational consultant with an emergency medical technician background, hopes to make hospital stays less stressful with this practical yet bold book (originally published as 24/7 or Dead: A Handbook for Families with a Loved One in the Hospital). She first describes how to use the book, then recounts her husband's harrowing, eight-and-a-half-month hospital stay. Most of the chapters advise on picking the days of your stay, taking care of yourself, and asking about medications and procedures. Several chapters feature forms at the end, e.g., a required documents checklist. Buck was viewed as difficult by some hospital staff, but she did what she had to do to keep her husband alive and be well informed of his treatment. Readers will admire her assertiveness and appreciate details of her positive and negative experiences with hospitals and staff. The advocate's version of Stephen H. Schneider's The Patient from Hell, this book is recommended for public libraries, especially those with consumer health collections. |
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Robert Kotler, MD, FACS Faculty UCLA Medical School Former Major, Medical Corps, U.S. Army |
This is a book whose time has come, and Mrs.
Buck has done a terrific job of forewarning - and forearming - all of
those who have a family member in the hospital. Unfortunately, with changes in the health care system, foisted upon it by insurance companies and governmental bureaucracy, family members of those who are ill and hospitalized need to be strong advocates. They need to understand “the system,” and know how to address it. They need empowerment and this book provides it in large doses. The book is well organized and nicely designed. As a prototypical example, Mrs. Buck chronicles her husband’s eight-month hospital ordeal. All the lessons are there to be learned. Because hospitalization is intimidating, particularly when one’s family member is severely or critical ill, one needs a companion and advocate and this book provides exactly that support. It is the next best thing to having a doctor-friend at your side. Don’t leave home, for the hospital, without it. Highly recommended - 5 stars. |
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Gary Edward Barg Editor-in-Chief Today's Caregiver magazine www.caregiver.com Author - The Fearless Caregiver |
"Hospital Stay Handbook
is a must-read for any family caregiver. Jari Holland Buck dramatically
brings to life challenges that family members face when a loved one is
in the hospital. She proves that with a little knowledge, a lot of love
and by relentlessly asking questions, you can ensure that your loved one
receives the best the healthcare system has to offer and truly become a
respected member of the healthcare team." |
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The Mindquest Review April 2006 Lightword Publishing www.lightwordreviews.com |
"Chances are most families will experience a
member in the hospital one or more times. This vital book provides all
the information you need to protect and provide for the family member
hospitalized. Advocacy perspectives, choosing a hospital, Medical Power
of Attorney, patient rights, medications, and more are astutely and
totally covered. Business
consultant, trainer, medical layperson, and listed in numerous Who' Who,
the author provides complete, updated advice and facts including medical
mistakes. The book should be in everyone's home so your family can have
the best, advanced care available with proper protection." |
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Heather Froeschl Book Reviewer Quilldipper www.Quilldipper.com |
"When your loved one is in the hospital you
want to be able to trust that things will be okay, you want to be able
to focus on simply loving the person, holding their hand and being
supportive. Unfortunately, while we need to do that, we need to do so
much more. Becoming an advocate for your loved one is now so vitally
important. Jari Holland Buck’s book should be required reading for every
American. Jari has been there and done that and you will thank her for telling her story so that you can learn from it. She is a non-medical person, a regular, every day woman, whose advocacy for her husband Bill more than likely, nearly absolutely, saved his life. He was in four different hospitals over the course of nearly nine months. She was by his side 24/7. Because of her witness and attention to every detail of his treatment she was able to advocate for what was best for him, at numerous moments of dire need. Bill nearly died, several times. If Jari hadn’t been there, he likely wouldn’t be here today. What did she do and how did she do it? Jari shares her story but also offers advice to readers in the position of being a loved one’s advocate. From the very first moments of hospitalization, to dealing with the hospital’s policies on patient files, rooming in, permissions for treatment etc., to Power of Attorney, Living Wills, Patient Rights and most important, taking care of yourself, Jari offers guidance in every step and instance. Each chapter is detailed and covers the topic in a no-nonsense, been there-done that sort of way. Readers will have an understanding of Jari and Bill’s experience but will also learn a great deal and have applicable steps to take in being an advocate themselves. Hospital Stay Handbook is straightforward, well written and easy to understand. It is a learning tool in layman’s terms. Gentle and open for those in grave need and morale boosting support for those ready to take action. I trust that all who read it become the latter. I only wish I’d had this book to guide me in earlier needs. Patients and their loved ones do not have to sit placidly and silently obey what the mighty doctor has to say. This isn’t an attack on doctors, nurses or hospitals but it is a call to become a partner with those medical professionals. Through this partnership we can all help our loved ones and avoid unnecessary mistakes. Don’t wait until you need this book to read it. In any medical circumstance, dire or routine, you are best to be aware of what you can do to be an advocate, for yourself, and for your loved ones." |
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Cindy DeJager Book Reviewer Rosetta Stone Press Calgary, Alberta, Canada |
"Jari’s husband was suddenly stricken with
severe pancreatitis and spent six out of eight and half months in a four
different U.S. hospitals, dependant on life support. Jari spent every
moment by his side, she became involved in his treatments and care and
participated in his recovery, she educated herself in his medications
and treatments, and was there on more than one occasion to save his
life. But her involvement was not always welcomed by the healthcare
providers and she was often referred to as a 'pain in the ass family
member.' She learned the hard way how to be a patient advocate and this
is her story. With hospitals and health care professionals stretched to the limit it is unfortunate that the healthcare system is resisting support from those who have the most invested in their patients, the family member. Jari Holland Buck prepares us for the unimaginable events that we are never prepared to cope with. Hospital Stay Handbook is an essential guidebook that teaches the reader the critical importance of co-caring for and being a patient advocate for your loved one in the hospital. It is rich with valuable information, walking you through the process of difficult and confusing issues such as how to seek out the Patient Advocacy Office, obtain a Patient Rights Statement; legal questions such as when to implement a Living Will and a Power of Attorney; and how and why you should educate yourself about the medications and injections being used to provide treatment. The scope of this book encompasses much more than just the physical aspect, Jari approaches the topic of Prayer and Surrender with beautiful eloquence. 'We have nothing to lose by praying, so be very clear about what you want', she says. '…even if the answer is no, you will know then that you have done everything that can be done and you can let go and surrender.' I especially liked an idea that Jari had; she suggests displaying pictures of your loved one, of the way they used to look while they were healthy, so that the nurses and staff can see him as a person and not just a patient. Hospital Stay Handbook is a timely and valuable resource, and though some of the content, such as the legal suggestions and hospital billing practices may not be pertinent in another country, the call to be more of a patient advocate for our loved ones has never been more necessary." |
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Paige Lovitt Book Reviewer Reader Views www.readerviews.com/ReviewBuck247orDead.html |
Hospital Stay Handbook covers a really
complex difficult area of life that all of us will have to face someday,
if we haven’t already. That is the care of a loved one while they are
hospitalized. This book is really well written and easy to follow. The
author, Jari Holland Buck, makes fourteen recommendations to assist the
family member that is in charge with making sure that the loved one gets
the proper care and treatment. These recommendations are very easy to
follow, and Buck describes them in depth. They touch on all aspects of
how to be able to best care for the patient. The first and last recommendation is to “Take care of yourself.” This makes so much sense, because if you fall apart from the stress, you will not be able to help anybody, let alone take care of yourself. Other aspects of the recommendations involve dealing with legal issues and spiritual issues. Buck presents the subject matter in a way that is easily understandable. She provides short definitions in parentheses immediately affect presenting a medical term. This immediately lets the reader know what she is talking about and provides the reader with an understanding of a professional term in which they will be hearing from the medical staff. The more educated the caregiver is, the more information they will have to work with regarding understanding the care of the loved one. Buck also provides easy to follow checklists to that will enable to caregiver to make sure that their family member’s needs are being met. I think that the checklists will be especially helpful to those that are immediately involved in the stress and trauma of trying to see that someone is cared for. It would be best to read this book ahead of time, while you are not stressed out so that you are prepared for the fight that will be ahead of you when faced with a situation such as this. I personally have worked in several hospitals and as a social worker for several years. Before I read the book, I thought that I already knew a lot about patient advocacy and what I could do to stand up for the rights of a hospitalized family member. As I was reading the book, I realized that I knew very little. Buck in an effort to save her husband’s life, she went way beyond the call of duty and I believe in doing so, she actually did save him. I am grateful that she shared her knowledge and experiences with us through this book because I know that when I encounter this situation, I will be better prepared to handle it. In addition to Buck sharing her story about her husband, she also presents some spiritual principles and advice that I feel will help bring peace and hope to those involved. I highly recommend this book to people who are involved with caring for family members that are aging. I also recommend it to people that are involved in the care of those who are ill. I think that people that work in the medical industry need to read this so that they can understand what it is like for a family member to have to fight through the system to keep a loved one alive. If nothing else, they will learn compassion. |
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Denise Kintigh, RN, BSN Trauma Program Manager |
“I am one of the many
nurses who cared for Bill and Jari. Actually, I provided more care for
Jari than Bill. When I met Jari I was at a crossroads in my life. I had
been a nurse for 18 years and was searching for a renewal of the passion
I had once felt for the profession. I didn’t know what God wanted me to
do but I did know that I needed to share my life experience for the
betterment of patient care.
Two years before I met Jari, I had spent a year caring for my critically ill husband. He was diagnosed with Leukemia and spent a great deal of time in hospitals. The experience of being a family member instead of a nurse gave me a new perspective on what patients and families are going through. This, in turn, allowed me to understand Jari’s need for knowledge of Bill’s disease process. I understood from my experience that knowledge provides a sense of comfort, control and power to make the right decisions. I spent a great deal of time talking with and supporting Jari in her quest to understand Bill’s disease. I remember a conversation we had about wishing someone would write a book to guide families in this process. I told Jari that I thought she would be a great author for a guidebook. Imagine my delight when I received an email from her stating she had finished the book we spoke about! It is my belief that God brought Jari and
I together. I believe God gave me the blessing of working with Jari and
Bill to heal my broken heart, to recognize that I did have the strength
to reach out and make a difference in my patient’s lives. Every patient
and family that extends me the privilege of joining in their life in a
time of crisis is a gift. I thank you, Jari and Bill, for that gift.” |
| Melissa Jordan, Volunteer Patient Advocate | "Hospital Stay Handbook offers
pragmatic advice and encouragement for anyone willing to play an active
role in the care and healing of a loved one during their hospital stay.
It provides clear examples and useful exercises for helping one ensure
that a patient's needs are met and his or her rights are respected. " |
| Peter J. Stark, Ph.D., MBA, Instructor – University of Minnesota, Concordia University and Helsinki School of Economics | “Despite the fact that
medical knowledge now doubles every seven years and the discipline is
thoroughly enmeshed in externally driven change processes, there are few
institutions and organizations that have more emotional equity invested
in the status quo of medical practice than those of our health care
professionals. To some extent, this investment is appropriate and the
quality of our health care is dependent upon it. However, as Jari
Holland Buck points out all too clearly, many of those inside the
profession have the hardest time transcending their assumptions and
preconceptions about medicine and the roles its practitioners play or
need to play. Those inside the system are both consciously and
unconsciously co-opted by its underlying cultural assumptions. And these
assumptions are founded almost entirely on perpetuating the quest for
certainty – not in making meaningful changes. We get the medical treatment we are willing to accept based on our own assumptions and our own quest for certainty. Jari Holland Buck has written the definitive handbook to help us take charge of the changes we need to make ourselves in order to promote the changes in health care necessary to ensure that we get the medical treatment we deserve. Jari’s book, Hospital Stay Handbook, is clear - we must be the health care we wish to see.” |
| Karen Martin, M.A., Licensed Professional Counselor | “With
Hospital Stay Handbook, the
question of how to put love in action gets definitive answers. Sharing
the gift of lessons learned from her own experience, Jari Holland Buck
gives family members concrete ways to become a vital part of adequate
patient care through well-informed advocacy. Families no longer have to
stand by feeling helpless. What a difference this book will make in
hospital experiences.” |
| Lucy Fine, RN, MFT, Certified Professional Coach | “I read
Hospital Stay Handbook in
one sitting!!! How extraordinary your travail and you approached it like
a heroic warrior. I am so impressed with what you have managed in
regards to your husband's illness as well as the gift you give us all by
reporting such a clear tale along with explicit information. As a nurse
this is especially dear to my heart. I understand the language, the
emotion and the spirit of you through these eloquent words.” |
| Holly Fritch Kirby, M.D. | “It is a well-known
fact, that individuals are happier when they are in control of their
lives. However, when a loved one’s health is amiss, they are faced with
a complex problem. The best way to approach the situation is to
continually ask, ‘What else can I do about it?’ Jari Holland Buck’s
book, Hospital Stay Handbook, provides numerous insights and is the guide to
answering these questions. Until American medicine is better funded, less regulated and the patient-physician decision-making takes precedence over the corporate and governmental practice of medicine, medical care will suffer. However, in the interim, if as individuals, we want to do what we can, then assisting the physicians, nursing and auxiliary staff by utilizing the ideas in Hospital Stay Handbook is the right approach for our loved one and our mental and physical health. Jari¹s book should be an essential resource for individuals comforting and counseling family members, whose source of anguish is a loved one¹s illness. Her book can create miracles, if it is at all humanly possible. A positive attitude and giving one¹s realistic best makes a difference; to succeed, we need to follow Jari¹s example.” |
| Bill North, friend and former National Training Director | “Hospital Stay Handbook is one of
the most riveting things I ever have read. If I had to sum up my
reaction in one word, it would be staggered. I found myself
simultaneously gripped with fear, intimidated by the unknown,
overwhelmed by the magnitude of so many threatening events happening at
the same time and impressed in ways I can't describe at the courage,
will to overcome, refusal to give up and overall heroism you displayed
throughout this ordeal. I have nothing but the utmost admiration for
both you and Bill in your determination to overcome. This is one of the
most remarkable stories of personal trial and triumph I have read.” |
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Diane Masters The Masters Institute Master-Teacher of Usui/Tibetan, Karuna and Japanese Reiki |
“Wow! I thought to
myself, ‘Well, I'll open this up and read just a few paragraphs to get
the gist of it because I am in a rush right now.’ I was rooted from the
moment I started reading. Finally, over an hour later, I realized I had
to reluctantly close it down because I would miss my appointment if I
didn't. Needless to say, it was the first thing I did when I got back
home this afternoon. What a story! And you are a fascinating author. The
world will be better off with this book. This is sorely needed.” |
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Jim Bryden SW Area Training Manager Comcast Cable Communications, Inc. |
"Bill Buck would
likely not be alive today if Jari hadn't managed his care so effectively
and intervened at the right times in the right--often appropriately
insistent--way. It's not that Bill's medical caregivers were
individually incompetent; rather, there were just so many of them and so
many changes and crises that things predictably went wrong. That's the
way things are. What Jari has done for the rest of us who may one day
face the same situation is to provide some really good advice about how
to deal with it." |
| Melinda Krautmann, R.N. | “It is quite apparent
that with the nursing shortage and the aging population, we are all
going to have to learn how to be savvy with advocating for our loved
ones when they get sick or need medical care. This book will give you
some down to earth tips on what to do and not to do when it comes to
making decisions for the ones you love. It's full of useful advice even
if it's you that needs to make decisions about yourself." |
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Georgia Nesselrode, Ed.D. Director of Government Training Mid-America Regional Council |
"Jari Holland Buck has
an innate ability to communicate practical guidance and instruction to
simplify complex issues… Her history with the health care field in
supporting her husband through his life threatening illness has given
her a special insight that she now shares with everyone in her book,
Hospital Stay Handbook. I have no doubt that the guidance Jari provides will
benefit many lives to come." |
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Cynthia McMahon Workshop and Travel Facilitator |
"This book was a huge
help for me while my aging mother was in the hospital. It empowered me
to be more assertive and to question the care she was getting. It
absolutely made a difference in her outcome. This book is a MUST HAVE!" |
| Lance Kelly, Chief Operating Officer Corporate Scenes | “Wow,
that was a great read. “ |
| Carin Goodemote, Customer Advocate Specialist for medical insurance carrier | “Hospital Stay Handbook is an
amazing book about a personal life experience, an experience that truly
saved her husband. The author, Jari Holland Buck, is a remarkable
individual to share her amazing true-life experience through this book.
Hospital Stay Handbook will help you help a loved one in ways you wouldn't even
imagine.” |
| Denise Knight, Friend and Employee Relations Manager | “Wow! This book should
have been on the shelf years ago, before I had to experience nearly
disastrous results from my own family member's hospital visits! Jari's
book is what I would call great "preventive medicine!" She delivers a
powerful message from the heart that is meant to help prevent family
members from needlessly losing their loved ones in today's understaffed
hospitals. This book is both touching and educational. Way to go, Jari!” |
| Lorrie Eigles, Friend and Life + Career Coach | “As a friend of Jari
and Bill, I have been a witness to their incredible journey through
Bill's illness. Jari was very courageous in being Bill's around the
clock advocate within the medical system and being vocal and determined
to get what Bill needed to stay alive, along with his strong fighting
spirit. This book is an important contribution to all of us who have
loved ones dealing with the medical system or for ourselves when we find
ourselves in such situations without knowing what to do. She has clearly
said what needed to be said and provides an invaluable 'how-to' guide
that I highly recommend.” |
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Pat N. Smith, long-term friend and one
who was there… |
“I've known Jari
Holland Buck for over thirty years. When I got the call that Bill was in
the hospital, I immediately made plans to get to her and to Bill's
bedside. I fully expected that Bill would be out of the hospital in
weeks--not months. I visited Bill at least four times over a period of
six months, and three of the four times he was in a different hospital
with a whole new medical staff! On the basis of just four visits, I'm
convinced that it's because of Jari--the knowledge she built, the
questions she didn't hesitate to ask, and her dogged determination that
Bill would survive--that Bill is here today. Jari took charge of Bill's
health care and was actively involved each step of the way. By doing so,
she provided what otherwise was sorely missing: the day-to-day
continuity that unfortunately is missing in our healthcare system. If
you have a loved one in the hospital, this is a ‘must read;’ better yet,
read it now, so you are prepared should this ever happen to you.” |
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Paul M. Clemens, Publisher Blue Dolphin Publishing, Inc. |
“I got a chance to
read through your manuscript over the weekend … and was struck by your
thorough research and tenacity and all the good advice for patients and
their loved ones...so way to go, and well done.... you speak for a lot
of people. Interesting that in a group I belong to, one of the members
went to the hospital for surgery, only to have stuff left inside him,
then the nurses touched his wound with unclean sheets, then he got an
infection, and then they had to double-save him from dying... so your
story repeats itself endlessly in all the hospital rooms across the
nation....” |
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Brad Fisher The Charles Press |
"Your willingness to
share valuable insights with readers who wish to learn more about the
personal side of hospital care does you great credit." |
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Diantha C. Thorpe, Publisher The Shoe String Press, Inc. |
“I’ve been
through this and heartily recommend the need for this kind of
information and encouragement.” |
| Barbara H. Levine, Creative Director, Aslan Publishing | “I found your story
compelling and well written.” |
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Betty Wright, Publisher Rainbow Books, Inc. |
“An epic story, well
written.” |
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